Valooosh
"Valooosh" is the twenty-eighth chapter of Wayside School is Falling Down. Synopsis Wayside School gets an eccentric new dance teacher. Plot This chapter opens with Mrs. Jewls ringing her cowbell, announcing she has wonderful news for the class. She states that world-famous dancer Mrs. Waloosh would be coming to Wayside School to teach the class how to dance. Everyone continues to wait for the wonderful news. Mrs. Jewls states that they will go to her class on Wednesdays instead of P.E. However, none of the students in her class seem excited, worrying about girls dancing with boys, boys dancing with girls, and all the cooties and warts and whatnot associated with that. Mrs. Jewls rings her cowbell to settle the class down. Eric Bacon explains he doesn't need to learn how to dance, but Mrs. Jewls sarcastically notes that she's seen Eric Bacon "dance." Eric Bacon is a great breakdancer, but he got breakdancing banned at Wayside School because every time he danced, he broke something. Mrs. Jewls explains Mrs. Waloosh will tell them the classical art of ballroom dancing, but everyone groans at the notion. That Wednesday, the class waits at the second story for their first dancing lesson, with the exception of Myron, who still heads to P.E. Jason questions why Myron never has to do anything the rest of the class does, and a few classmates try to explain. Bebe believes Myron's dad might be friends with the president, Todd believes Myron might've given Mr. Kidswatter a thousand dollars, while Jenny believes he's blackmailing Mrs. Jewls. They enter the ballroom, which is where school dances are held, alongside where the red, green, and yellow balls are held during lunch and recess. Mrs. Waloosh greets them with a thick Germanic accent, and asks who will be first. Everyone tries to hide behind everyone else, leaving Ron in the open. Mrs. Waloosh greets Ron, and Ron asks if he's going to dance. However, Mrs. Waloosh assures they aren't going to dance. They are going to tango! She places her left hand around his waist, and grabs his left hand with her right hand, and starts to tango with him, eventually throwing him up into the air and catching him. Maurecia thinks it looks exciting, and asks to go next. Terrence joins next, and eventually the entire class joins in. Eventually, Mrs. Waloosh tangoes with each kid in the class, and many unlikely pairs end up dancing, though they mostly trip each other to the floor, throw balls at each other, and kick each other in the rear end. Mrs. Waloosh starts growing tired, and forgets to catch some of the falling children. Deedee falls to the ground, and states she's having more fun than playing "murder-the-man-with-the-ball." Eventually the music stops, everyone claps one last time, and Mrs. Waloosh dismisses the class, saying next time, they'll "valts." When they return to Mrs. Jewls's class, everyone is cut up, bruised, and bleeding, but they all state they had a fantastic time, using the same thick accent as Mrs. Waloosh. Myron is sorry to have missed it, while Todd says he's excited for next "Vednesday." Characters *Mrs. Jewls *Mrs. Waloosh *Jenny *Leslie *Ron *Eric Fry *Terrence *Eric Bacon *Myron *Jason *Calvin *Bebe Gunn *Todd *Benjamin Nushmutt *Mr. Kidswatter (mentioned) *Mac *Paul *Dana *John *Rondi *Allison *D.J. *Kathy *Joy *Deedee Trivia *This is the first and only appearance of Mrs. Waloosh. *This is the only appearance of Benjamin Nushmutt prior to "The Lost Ear" that doesn't have to do with him telling someone his name. *Terrence's name is misspelled as "Terrance" once in the digital version of this chapter. *Eric Ovens is the only Eric not mentioned in this chapter. Gallery Valooosh 1989.jpg|Joel Schick illustration Valooosh 2003.jpg|Adam McCauley illustration Foreign editions Valooosh Illustration.jpg|Peter Allen illustration (UK) Ron Waloosh Valooosh.png|Peter Allen second illustration (UK) Rondi Myron John Ron Valooosh.PNG|Peter Allen third illustration (UK) Valooosh Kitamura.png|Satoshi Kitamura illustration (Japan) Category:Wayside School is Falling Down chapters Category:Book chapters